Two weeks

I wonder at what point you get to where you aren't constantly counting backwards to such a sad day. I wonder when Friday will be exciting again.

Doing okay today. I'm just now starting to feel sore inside (physically). I haven't been feeling well since the procedure, but, I was on some medication to clamp down my uterus and it just made me feel so gross. My last dose was early this morning, thank goodness. Still feeling the effects from it though. Just hoping it's doing it's thing. I'm also on some antibiotics that my stomach aren't a fan of. Gotta remember to eat when I take those! I tried to tidy up a little today and realized already I've done too much. So, trying to chill again.

The feelings of loneliness are sinking in. Just part of the process, I know. Some moments are easier than others. Last night I was so upset with my body..."Why am I so sore" and wondering if I'll ever feel as good as I did when I was pregnant; frustrated with the thoughts of feeling like crap all the time again. Yes, I was constantly nauseated and my back was pretty sore...but hell, I'll take those symptoms ANY DAY over constantly feeling every single little thing going on inside (thank you endometriosis). It was a blissfully happy and healthy pregnancy, aside from the obvious bleeding. I don't know if it was because I had something else to concentrate on and work towards (something outside of my self)...but it was the most most amazing 18 weeks of my life and I miss it.